Retiring

Hello... Bouncing Baby Fox will be retiring from Blogger.

I will resurface under something else but I'm still in the process of figuring out where that will be. So for now... Adieu Adieu

Superbowl Sunday and Labor

Update 2/5/2007: Baby girl was born at 7:13pm last night. Our friends got to the hospital at 4pm and had her 3 hours later. She was 6 lbs. and 1 oz and Mommies and baby are doing fine.

I'm supposed to be at our annualGAY Superbowl party. However, the host started having contractions so they cancelled it. This will be the 2nd baby born to two mommies in our group. We had called to tell them we'd be bringing sushi instead of pasta and our friend told us it was being called off. She was having contractions every 10 - 15 minutes and pretty uncomfortable.

So here's to the newest addition! Their life is about to change and they will officially be a family. Yay!!!

Growing Up is Hard to Do

My phone rang at work today with a number I didn't recognize. I knew it was in the same State as me but I had never seen it before. Usually I don't pick up those types of calls but today I did. It turned out to be one of my high school friends from a long long time ago. It had been a couple years but I could still tell her voice needed to vent. We played the small chat game with the usual questions: how is NB? how is the family?

Beth never calls me, in fact the last time I had talked to her she was attemping to leave her husband. We drifted apart after she went back to him. Partly because I couldn't stomach it and partly because he has always felt threatened by our friendship.

This call was much of the same. They had gotten in a fight because she was refusing to have sex with him. He proceeded to take her car keys and go on the internet to find a local girl. His family had raised him that it's okay to cheat if you're not getting it from your wife. Can you see why I drifted away from this friendship?

Last night the blowout also entailed him telling her he wants a divorce and to get out. He told her she could have their one son but he was keeping the other. Beth has lost all of her friends so the only person she could call was her parents. They told her to work it out with him. In their defense, they had forked over thousands of dollars for a lawyer the first time she said she was leaving him. That wasn't the response she wanted so now she called me.

I know that deep down she was looking for me to rescue her the 100th time. I told her that if she wanted to leave him her best bet was to get a job and start saving her money (just like my Mom had done.) I know she was waiting for me to tell her she could stay with me. Towards the end of the call I flat out asked her if she wanted a divorce from him. She responded "no, not really." After that we chatted about her kids and the 2 eggs she had donated for IVF and how her husband had taken that money and opened up a pizza joint. At the end of the call I told her she could contact me whenever and that my work had an 800 number so her husband wouldn't be able to tell she was calling me. Beth told me that's why she had called me at work.

When we hung up I realized that I am a much different person than I was 5 years ago. A long time ago that call would have had me leaving work, picking her and her son up, and moving them into my house. Time has showed me that Beth will only change her situation if she wants too. The thought of going back to work and being independent is something she is still not ready for. I hope someday that she realizes she is worth so much more but nothing I can say or do will ever teach her that. You can try so hard to help someone or change them but it's always going to be up to them. You can give up your time, your money, your life to help but they have to find the fire within. This is a hard lesson to learn and I experienced it first hand when I lost my brother to addiction. The interesting thing about life is sometimes you don't realize how much an experience has changed you until you revisit your past.

Onions

Okay, I gave in and watched Rome with NB... It's a little violent for me but it's not bad. I wikipedia'd every character so now I know how they all meet their fate. That was stupid I realize now but I'm not big on surprises.

This weekend flew by. Friday at my Mom's and Saturday with NB's mom's. Actually, that was probably the most interesting part of the whole weekend.

NB's Mom, will call her Ada, still has a friend from when she was a little girl. "Doris" has been having an "Onion Party" the last 30 years. What's an onion party? Apparently, it's when Doris and her partner make onion soup and have all their friends over. Did you notice I said partner?

Yes, Ada lo' and behold has a lesbian friend. It's never been talked about but Doris and her partner have been together over 30 years. They are a cute older couple and it was nice to see an older lesbian couple in their 60's still together. We got the tour of the house, 2 cats, 2 alarm clocks.. You get the picture. If you knew NB's mom you would find this pretty funny because she's not really comfortable with the gay world. I realize it's a different generation but how do you not know your best friend is a lesbian?

Anyway, the poignant part of the night was when one of the older men there (gay, gay, gay) made a toast to those people who have passed away through the years. These people had been attendees at the onion party.

Sad, but bittersweet because he toasted them in remembrance and celebration. I have become so much more comfortable being around elderly people because of my Aunt. They do have something to teach us, I only wish they were more visible in the gay community.

Free!

I took the morning off from my Aunt's. It feels so nice to not have to run out first thing and take care of her. It allowed me to go out on a Friday night and stay out late without worrying about getting up in the morning. Is this what it used to feel like to not have responsibilities?

NB and I saw some live music last night with our gay male couple friends. The one guy is a really good friend of mine and the other guy has been his boyfriend for about a year. I always liked the boyfriend but recently it has become clear that he's not the guy for my friend. I would never say anything because the last time I spoke up about something like this I wound up losing a friendship. So, I just hope that in time my friend realizes this guy is not the right fit and is walking all over him.

I setup certain goals for today but all I feel like doing is sleeping. We bought an elliptical that needs to be put together and I have homework I have to do. I also have regular work I need to catch up on. I'm getting tired just writing about it...okay, maybe just a short nap...

Waiting for Spring Break

School is back in session. NB and I are back part-time. She's working on her MBA and I'm still working on my bachelors. I give NB so much credit for getting me back on track. She is an inspiration in my life, I'd still be waiting tables if it wasn't for her.

I also started therapy again. My stress level was getting unbearable and once in a while I feel the need to have someone tell me I'm sane. I'm very private about my feelings and it helps to have an outside person take a look. I'm a big believer in shrinks and part of the reason I got through my brother's death so well was going to one. The shrink is so down to earth and helped me coin the "not my problem" phrase which helps me not take on everyone else's crap. I'm a caretaker by nature and can get dumped on.

Today at work this random person asked me when NB and I were going to have children. I was totally taken back and I said "not for a little while." It's funny, whenever straight people ask about kids to me they always say "so when are you going to adopt?" I don't know if they just assume that's the only way lesbians can have children or they can't imagine insemination. Who knows? Either way it was kind of cool to have someone ask.